This sexologist says: You should watch Babygirl…

Because Romy (Nicole Kidman) is a lot like you…even if you don’t want it the same way she does.

It’s the same. 

Like you, she’s mastered control. Every part of her life and leadership is impeccably managed – to the point her orgasum is under lock and key – only accessible through her own control.

And she wields control to keep the darkest, most dangerous parts of herself under wraps. What’s too taboo or what no one else will be able to hold.

She wants something she thinks her husband can’t or won’t co-create with her in the bedroom. 

So when a man enters her life who immediately senses her deep yearning to lose control and submit, she can’t resist. She tries to draw boundaries and to convince herself that this is “inappropriate” but…

…she can’t say no when there’s no one in her life willing to fulfil her deepest desire to be dominated.

Her problem isn’t that she doesn’t know what she wants. Her problem is that there’s nowhere safe to want it. There’s no outlet. 

With years of this repression behind her and every other part of her life so measured, ordered and predictable, the power dynamics of this relationship intoxicate her.

She explicitly says she never wants to lose what she’s built and that her family means everything.

But when she’s finally faced with the moment of having her desire not just met but satiated, she starts risking it all.

And maybe – just maybe – there’s a part of her that wants to lose it all.

Because the way she’s held her world together up until this point (with childhood trauma humming in the background) it has a threshold. A shelf life.

In this erotic tryst, a hunger gets fed that’s more than carnal. It’s primordial. 

Because he doesn’t just see her - he reads her like no one else.

It reminds me that no matter how elite, we all possess the desire to be read. I’m talking about more than just being seen - it’s intuited. Unspoken. And between Romy and Samuel, what’s unspoken only gets sexier when they forge an agreement based on verbal consent.

I don’t see Babygirl as a cautionary tale – as a ‘if you don’t do this you’ll lose everything and jeopardise everything you’ve ever built’.

That’s not the point. Thank F.

Women don’t need any more vitriol or moral threats when it comes to our sexuality and eroticism. 

We don’t need any more stories so we stay buttoned up. Good. Pious.

And we definitely don’t need to sterilise ourselves to feel worthy of leadership.

What it’s ultimately about is power and how true power includes desire and expression of the erotic. And Babygirl lets us feel what happens when that door not only cracks open but is allowed to be integrated into our very fabric.

You should watch Babygirl…